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Written for the 2014 topgearslash Advent Challenge.

Prompt #3: Birthday (Richard celebrates his 45th birthday on December 19th)


Richard folded his arms on the table and dropped his head onto them. "Forty-five," he groaned. "Forty-five."

"We heard you the first time. Your point?" Jeremy asked, acidly.

"I'm officially closer to fifty than to forty!"

"Nothing wrong with that." James looked over the tops of his reading glasses. "Are you about to have another mid-life crisis? I could use a laugh."

"I'm past a mid-life crisis! I'm almost a half century old. It's all bloody well downhill from here," Richard said despairingly.

"Fucking pikey," snorted Jeremy.

"For your information, Hammond," said James, "there is life after fifty. Jeremy and I haven't changed."

Richard sat up and glared at them each in turn. "Jez is a grouchy, petulant, grey-haired, cantankerous, fat old sod, and you are a fussy, crotchety, antiquated, grey-haired, slightly-less-fat old bastard."

"Precisely!" Jeremy said, as James nodded in agreement. "We haven't changed one iota."

Richard opened his mouth, then closed it again. He cocked his head. "Actually, I can't argue with that. And if you two ridiculously old men can age without growing up, I certainly can. Fact." He began to whistle 'Happy Birthday' to himself quite cheerfully.

Future Not Yet

Oh, good grief, I haven't done this in so long that I don't remember how. Um.

Author: me!
Characters: Billy/Grace, Elijah
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Billy & Elijah are based on real people to whom I have no connection whatsoever, but Grace is an original character and belongs to meeeeee.
Feedback: Would be treasured beyond pearls.
Archive: Not without permission.

Written for Pip's First Annual Great Eleventh Of March Fic Challenge Classic. It is a future scene in the vast universe that is Not Yet, and as such could be considered a spoiler, although I think everyone knows me well enough to not be surprised by a single thing in here. :P I think this could be read as a standalone if you're not familiar with the Not Yet verse, though. All you need to know is that Billy and Grace were friends first, and she was friends with Elijah who she met through Billy. This is, at present, un-betaed.

My choice for length in the challenge was "Go Big Or Go Home" (over 5,000 words), and the prompts I used were Home Cooking, Possessive Behaviour, and I suppose you could include Marriage, really. There is a wee bit in the middle that is a place marker for another scene that remains to be written, but would not cooperate at this juncture. Sorry about that.

Okay, I think that's everything! I will stop procrastinating now. On to the fic!Collapse )

Tags:

Oct. 23rd, 2009

Title: Everything The War Calls Out Of Us 2/2
Authors: foxtales & cocking_about
Artist: kikiriki23
Fandom: Top Gear
Genre: Gen, WWI AU
Characters: Richard, James & Jeremy
Rating: R
Word Count: ~17,000
Warnings: Language, violence and gore.
Disclaimer: Although an attempt was made to be somewhat historically accurate regarding the major events surrounding the Battle of Bourlon Wood, this is a fictionalised account and cannot be taken as truth. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is totally intentional but completely unauthorised. No money is being made from their names and likenesses.

Summary: Jeremy laid back as well, his head spinning a bit and not just from his wound. Greasy, tasteless food, toxic mud, an enemy that could stumble across them at any moment, seam squirrels and rats and flies and stench, and milk tablets, for god's sake. He wasn't a religious man, but he found himself praying they found the Allied lines, and soon.

Authors' notes: Enormous thanks to the mods of rpf_big_bang for all their hard work in putting this challenge together! foxtales and I also want to thank tarteaucitron so, so much for her excellent beta work and Britpick (even though Top Gear's hardly her favourite), and elmathelas and msilverstar for the additional and invaluable help in the beta department.

Link To Art: The perfect companion art.






Part One

Fritz won't sneak up on you as long as Jez Clarkson's on watch.Collapse )

Tags:

Oct. 23rd, 2009

Title: Everything The War Calls Out Of Us 1/2
Authors: foxtales & cocking_about
Artist: kikiriki23
Fandom: Top Gear
Genre: Gen, WWI AU
Characters: Richard, James & Jeremy
Rating: R
Word Count: ~17,000
Warnings: Language, violence and gore.
Disclaimer: Although an attempt was made to be somewhat historically accurate regarding the major events surrounding the Battle of Bourlon Wood, this is a fictionalised account and cannot be taken as truth. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is totally intentional but completely unauthorised. No money is being made from their names and likenesses.

Summary: Jeremy laid back as well, his head spinning a bit and not just from his wound. Greasy, tasteless food, toxic mud, an enemy that could stumble across them at any moment, seam squirrels and rats and flies and stench, and milk tablets, for god's sake. He wasn't a religious man, but he found himself praying they found the Allied lines, and soon.

Authors' notes: Written for rpf_big_bang 2009. foxtales and I want to thank tarteaucitron so, so much for her excellent beta work and Britpick (even though Top Gear's hardly her favourite), and elmathelas and msilverstar for the additional and invaluable help in the beta department. Any errors left are solely the fault of the authors.

Link To Art: The perfect companion art.





You couldn't navigate your way out of a potato sack, could you?Collapse )

Tags:

Title: The Place You Are (formerly In Their Quilted Coats) chp. 5
Author: Pippin
Pairing: None yet, but yes, it will be Richard/Pip eventually.
Warning: Umm, AU, obvs. Richard's wife and family don't exist, because I refuse to break up a home. :D He did, however, have his accident in this universe. Also, I should probably warn for Jeremy Clarkson in general.

A/N: There has been a title change to better reflect the story. And yes, it's from a Peter Gabriel song as well. :D

A massive thank you to tigertale7 and _breathtaken for the betas, encouragement, and general enabling.


Chapter 1, 2, 3, 4

Is that your poker face, or are you serious?Collapse )

Jan. 8th, 2009

Title: In Their Quilted Coats ch. 4
Author: Pip
Pairing: None yet, but yes, it will be Richard/Pip eventually.
Warning: Umm, AU, obvs. Richard's wife and family don't exist, because I refuse to break up a home. :D He did, however, have his accident in this universe. Also, contains a suggestion of who the Stig might be.

A massive thank you to tigertale7 for the beta, encouragement, and excellent enabling. This fandom wouldn't be nearly as much fun without you, hon. ♥ ♥ ♥

Chapter 1, 2, 3

First posted Dec, 2008

An absolute cock-up from start to finish.Collapse )
Title: In Their Quilted Coats ch. 3
Author: Pip
Pairing: None yet, but yes, it will be Richard/Pip eventually.
Warning: Umm, AU, obvs. Richard's wife and family don't exist, because I refuse to break up a home. :D He did, however, have his accident in this universe. Also, I should probably warn for Jeremy Clarkson in general.

A massive thank you to tigertale7 and giddy_london for the betas, encouragement, and general enabling. This fandom wouldn't be half as much fun without you two. ♥ ♥ ♥

Chapter 1, 2

First posted Sept, 2008

All right, then, who's going to start the Spanish Inquisition?Collapse )
Title: In Their Quilted Coats ch. 2
Author: Pip
Pairing: None yet, but yes, it will be Richard/Pip eventually.
Warning: Umm, AU, obvs. Richard's wife and family don't exist, because I refuse to break up a home. :D He did, however, have his accident in this universe. Also, I should probably warn for Jeremy Clarkson in general.

A massive thank you to tigertale7 and giddy_london for the betas, encouragement, and general enabling. This fandom wouldn't be half as much fun without you two. ♥ ♥ ♥

Chapter 1

First posted Aug, 2008

I wouldn't put it past you three to want to turn a Lamborghini into a submersible.Collapse )
Title: In Their Quilted Coats ch. 1
Author: Pip
Pairing: None yet, but yes, it will be Richard/Pip eventually. And I have no idea if Pip is actually me or not. I don't think I could write me truthfully if you paid me a million dollars.
Warning: Umm, AU, obvs. Richard's wife and family don't exist, because I refuse to break up a home. He did, however, have his accident in this universe. Also, I should probably warn for Jeremy Clarkson in general.
Feedback: Would be treasured beyond pearls.

Heartfelt thanks to tigertale7 for the beta, and for playing in my universe with me every time I beg. Much love, bb.

First posted Aug, 2008

James, don't touch Jeremy with the cheese.Collapse )
Title: Squirrel Tossing and Other Pastimes
Word Count: 3300
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Richard/James
Disclaimer: This is fiction. Ergo, all events described herein are fictitious.
Summary: Inspired by Series 11, episode 2. Set after the live taping, referencing the News Of The Week. Written for chocolatepeach’s Slash Edition Challenge.

Thanks to tigertale7 and elmathelas for the brilliant beta jobs!

First posted Nov, 2008

That one's absolutely going to win the Golden Cock this season.Collapse )