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December 16th, 2014

Written for the 2014 topgearslash Advent Challenge.

Prompt #3: Birthday (Richard celebrates his 45th birthday on December 19th)

Richard folded his arms on the table and dropped his head onto them. "Forty-five," he groaned. "Forty-five."

"We heard you the first time. Your point?" Jeremy asked, acidly.

"I'm officially closer to fifty than to forty!"

"Nothing wrong with that." James looked over the tops of his reading glasses. "Are you about to have another mid-life crisis? I could use a laugh."

"I'm past a mid-life crisis! I'm almost a half century old. It's all bloody well downhill from here," Richard said despairingly.

"Fucking pikey," snorted Jeremy.

"For your information, Hammond," said James, "there is life after fifty. Jeremy and I haven't changed."

Richard sat up and glared at them each in turn. "Jez is a grouchy, petulant, grey-haired, cantankerous, fat old sod, and you are a fussy, crotchety, antiquated, grey-haired, slightly-less-fat old bastard."

"Precisely!" Jeremy said, as James nodded in agreement. "We haven't changed one iota."

Richard opened his mouth, then closed it again. He cocked his head. "Actually, I can't argue with that. And if you two ridiculously old men can age without growing up, I certainly can. Fact." He began to whistle 'Happy Birthday' to himself quite cheerfully.